WA is the biggest Australian state, accounting for around one third of the total area, yet it is largely empty. Nearly everyone lives in Perth and Fremantle. It’s a wealthy state, originally from gold and opal mining, more recently from iron ore and other minerals. This prosperity is reflected in the state capital, Perth, which looks as though it has been designed to win a best city contest; the broad, clean streets, pristine buildings, greenery, the river and the Indian Ocean beyond. It is sunny nearly every day, yet there is no water shortage. The people who live here really are very fortunate.

A lot of things here show Oz’s British history, especially place names and street names. For example, you have His Majesty’s Theatre, Guildford, Herne Hill, Palmerston Street, Brighton Road, and suchlike. Aboriginal influence is also clear from some of the place names, Joondalup for example, and Gidgegannup. Looking at the map of the Swan Valley, which I have in front of me, you can see the sort of tell-it-like-it-is descriptive names that we see on wine labels: names like Windy Ridge, Rocky Gully, and Dingo’s Bum. (OK, I may have made one of them up). There is a town up the coast called Shark Bay. They actually called their town Shark Bay. (Presumably Paedophile Bay was already taken.) “I know, we’ll go for Shark Bay!. That’ll bring in the tourists!” Some things are the same as in England but called something different: Walls’ ice cream is called ‘Streets’,and a Mondeo is a Ford Falcon. One thing I’ve noticed is that real estate boards here carry a cheesy picture of the realtor, looking faux-sincere, or faux-thoughtful, depending on the image they want to project. Really horrible.